Ani speaking~ Quite the title, huh?
So it's not entirely true that I've been off of social media. Really, my only outlet for keeping updated on world things has been YouTube for the most part. Though, for the record, I'm no longer on Twitter, I haven't checked Tumblr for a long time now, and that SpaceHey I created? Dropped it.
But I'm not here to lecture about social media, I just wanted to share what's been going on with me now that I haven't checked these sites.
I feel great.
Simple yeah? While I feel like I haven't fully severed ties with the need to constantly take in new information, I do feel better that it's not in my face for most of the day. I have problems with trying not to compare my skills to others, and having a feed that constantly showed me artists that had better skills than me (especially when they were younger than me and could doodle better than me any day ;v;) didn't help with those problems. I always think I'm never good enough to do anything, so maybe that was a bit perpetuated through social media.
And saying "Don't think that, you're great!" or "Don't compare yourself to others" is easy enough to say, but in practice it doesn't work so well for me.
That being said, I won't say being off social media has remedied that, but generally I'm not caught in a loop staring at amazing artwork day in and day out. So problem solved but also not solved? I do think I feel happier, though.
I will say, I feel like I've taken a step back from a raging storm. Getting lost in other peoples' opinions, cancel culture, or taking in AI slop had taken a toll on me mentally. Yes, I'll say it, I've become such a "Doomer." I'm trying to remedy that, and not looking at social media sites has helped very much. I want to be proud of life, and I want things to get better. And I realize sulking about it is not going to fix things.
With social media, I felt like I didn't have anything to be proud of. But looking away from the screen, I started to figure out, "Hey Ani, you can do stuff!" Which of course is great and all... Just gotta start doing those things now. xD (Being an anxious person by nature doesn't help.)
Anyway, I do have a sense of FOMO when I see others still on social media and sharing things I didn't know about. I know we as humans can't POSSIBLY know everything... but wouldn't it be great if we did? That's how I feel about that. And the constant need for convenience has been getting to me.
So, there have been benefits and problems I've had being off of social media. I would say, for the most part, I'm happy. I don't feel like I need to stress about getting a post out with this blog, and I can just come back to it whenever I feel like it. Like my own little quiet space~ I do miss seeing peoples' reactions to the art I make, that's what really made me happy on social media. At the same time... there was too much of it.
In real life, I hate being in the spotlight. I like getting praise, but apart from that, I don't like the idea of having all eyes on me. Too much responsibility, heh~ And with cancel culture becoming more and more over-reactive, I sometimes worry that people are just analyzing ANYTHING that I do, and if they don't agree with something (warranted or not warranted) that I've done, they'll start a mob, and I'll have to say something about it. Not that people shouldn't own up to their mistakes, but I do think some corners of the internet just need to chill for a second.
And maybe I'm being over-reactive myself in saying this, but the internet feels like it's trying to assimilate everyone into a hive-mind mentality.
Anyway, some people will probably disagree with whatever I say, and that's fine. I just don't want to feel like I'm losing my sense of self. And I still struggle with figuring out if I'm forming my own opinions or not.
If my thoughts sound disjointed while you're reading this, I apologize, but this has just been on my mind lately. Agree with me or disagree, I'm just glad anyone's read this post up to this point.
Well, I don't want to end on a sour note, so here's my two cents. I feel like my brain can finally breathe with having my own space and not worrying about other people on the internet. I'm tired of having to worry about liking something and then someone telling me, "Oh you can't like them cause of such and such." I would LIKE to know why I can't like something, I'm concerned about what information I'm taking in and how that applies to me, but I'd like to do my own research into it and form my own opinions about it.
It's just tiring, is all I'm saying. I want to take things slow. Maybe it's the fact that a lot of things I liked when I was a kid are starting to be cancelled (and with good reason, like all those YouTubers outed as pedos now, good, they deserve the hate in my opinion), but I don't want to take it in all at once. It's depressing, alright? It's nice to take a break from it all.
I think I got riled up while typing this all out, but it feels nice to put it out into words. And maybe someone else will read this, hopefully it helps you figure some things out.
If I want to say anything, from what I've been thinking about all of this, and it won't work for everyone, but...
Just stop logging in maybe?
Wouldn't it be nice to just look at something else?
Yeah... okay, I'm done.
⭑❤✿⭑✣⭑ Thank you for reading~ ⭑❤✿⭑✣⭑
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